Devotion

My Lord…My Savior…Hold My Hand… Be My Light…Guide Me…Am I not your child? I do not need all the material wealth and the worldly laurels that you have given me…I do not even deserve all that…I just want to return to the same state of innocence that I was born in…The pain of pretension is the most dreaded one…The humiliation of isolation is another…Born with the mortal body, a man with consciousness has to undergo either of these. I have heard and also read that an awakened man feels no pain. You have also explained to me time and again that a wise man always stays free from attachment…True, for a man of spiritual mind, attachment brings misery. Mother said, “God does not command that you do great things…but small things with great devotion”…I do everything with devotion…Why can I not feel your presence around me anymore? Why does everything I do feel futile? So many questions arise in my mind every moment…Am I doing something I should not? I understand that your realm begins where reason ends and faith begins. The suffering which I am undergoing these days is becoming difficult to endure…Is this some kind of test that I have to pass? I have many confusions…I have heard that love should be unconditional…without expectations…I have also heard…and believed that the love which mother has for her child is the deepest…Isn’t that love characterized by a longing for “Mine”…because the same woman mostly ignores another child withering in pain from hunger…It is said in scriptures that based on my karma, I will get reborn…If I have sinned more, I will be born as a woman rather than a man…Isn’t life born out of the unison of male and female? A balance of the male and female life force is what drives a man towards the Truth. And what is the eternal truth? Sometimes when I meditate, I find myself moving closer to you…In mind, body and spirit…And then suddenly, everything vanishes away. The desire to own a thing is the worst of all…but desire to merge with you is nevertheless better than desire for any materialistic possessions. Many times, O Krishna, during our private conversations…when you disappear...I get overwhelmed with emotions because my heart longs only for You. Just like a child cries for the attention of his mother, I cry for your attention, O Madhusudana. I have read and reread the following guiding principle from you, on Devotion. Bless Me Lord for i have sinned…I feel I have not been able to show unto you the devotion I need to…I still have a lot to learn. I am still your child. In Your remembrance, my heart finds peace…In Your chants, I feel content…In Your dreams alone, I fall asleep…I just want to be surrounded by Your Grace…Punish me how much You feel is necessary, but do not leave me. You are my only hope…You are my only love…From you, I take…Only to give it back to You…I live because you want me to…And I shall die the day You ask me to… Every breath I am inhaling is your mercy… “A leaf, a flower, a fruit, or even water…offered to me in devotion…I will accept as the loving gift of a dedicated heart…whatever you do, make it an offering to me-the food you eat or worship you perform…the help you give…even your suffering…thus, you shall be free from Karma’s bondage…from the results of action-good or bad…I am the same to all beings…My love is the same always…Nevertheless, those who meditate on me with devotion, they dwell in me…And I shine forth in them…Even the worst sinner becomes a saint…when he loves me with all his heart…This love shall soon transform his personality…and fill his heart with peace profound…O son of Kunti, this is my promise…Those who love me, they shall never perish…Even those who are handicapped by birth…they have also reached the supreme goal in life by taking refuge in me…How much more the pure Brahmins and the royal sages who love me…Give not your love to this transient world of suffering…But give all your love to me…Give your mind, your heart, all your worship…Long for me always, live for me always…And you shall be united with me…”